Jumping Right In on the Spin

I have often attributed the frenetic amount of babble in my brain to it's being run by a Hamster Wheel of Doom.   I figure that there are at least 2 of them to keep up the pace and they are joined by an entire cast of characters that I have also named to keep track of what the hell is going on in there as best I can at times.

But I don't feel like much of an introduction this morning.  I'm jumping right in on the spin...

I am starting this up at the close of yet another chapter, another unexpected change in a lifetimes of unexpected changes.  A few days ago I was asked to leave the apartment that I have been living in for over two years.  No warning, just an awkward phone call during my work day and my turvy has been topsy'd.

The timing of this is absolutely terrible.  I just started a new job that quite frankly is not paying what I need to do more than tread water.  It has potential to improve but I can't pay rent with potential.  I can't eat potential.  I certainly can't drink it and beer is important damn it.  

My sister just moved across the country and my folks who are a preposterously impressive front line of defense when the shit hits the fan, are going to be gone visiting until about the end of August at which time I begin a 2 week stint house sitting.

I just murdered the face off my savings buying a second motorcycle, because "Hey, I know what living situation is and it's stable for now." Heh, yeah.

I'll land on my feet... I was quickly reminded of that.  My Dad was very supportive when I called him.  I am working on a plan.  It is looking like I am going to have to move back in with my folks until I can work out a location, a budget, and a roommate.  

I don't know where I want to go.  I don't know if my time to leave this area and do something different is actually just pounding like a mofo on my door now.  I have loose ends and at least one or two things that I am extremely invested in.  Mostly I just want to get rid of most of my personal possessions and start running, well, start riding away all of the time.

I suppose this is just cracking the door open on the topic because I have a lot to work through.  But I'll end this first entry by stating that I am grateful for the time that I have had in my Tower.  I am grateful for having somewhere to come to and be alone when I've needed it, to heal and regroup after losing my husband.  I am grateful for the support and generosity that was afforded to me by the woman whom I have rented this place from and while right now is a challenge, it doesn't change the kindnesses shown me when I needed them most.